Twinkie Fever

Twinkie Fever, new twinkie box

Twinkie Fever

By Risë Birnbaum

They’re back.  Those spongy, springy vanilla cakes loaded with creamy filling.  Fans are rushing the stores for the addictive cello-wrapped favorites, but some are not so thrilled.  It seems they’re a bit smaller than they were in 2012.  Back then, a box of twinkies weighed a hefty 15 ounces.  Now they weigh 13.58 ounces.  But, Hostess says the boxes are virtually the same as when they went out of business so I guess case closed.

But, there’s more.  It seems the shelf-life on the newborn twinkies is now 45 days compared to the previous 26-day shelf-life.  Don’t know about you, but I have zero (nada, zilch) interest in what they’ve put in them to keep them “fresher.”  Can’t be all that good for us, can it?  Hoping my gummy multi-vites do the trick.

As a kid, I would stop at a candy store after elementary and middle school and dive for the chocolate snacks.  The monkey on my back included devil dogs, ring dings, yodels, ding dongs and scooter pies.  If I veered off my chocolate track it was for an occasional coffee cake jr.

I also lived in Teaneck, New Jersey, a town that had Butterflake. one of the best bakeries in the country, if not the world.  And every Friday my mother made sure we had a chocolate covered ring of marble cake and crumb buns to last the weekend.  Think I semi-demolished them by Saturday noon or at least licked the crumb buns bald.

Am I influenced by the news?  You bet I am.  I‘m very tuned into Mark Bittman and the rallying cry for healthier, more sustainable foods.  In fact I loaded up my Whole Foods cart last night with fresh fruits, dried fruits, veggies, super foods and organic crackers (taste a bit like twine).  The crackers are so dry you need one of those green, kale-infused super food shakes as a chaser.  (Actually, not as bad as they look.)

Twinkies don’t do it for me and never did, but I understand the iconic nature of the product and brand.  That’s something my fellow PR veterans helped keep front and center over the decades.  But, put a devil dog and glass of milk (2%) in front of me and I’m putty in your hands.  And if their shelf-life is 75 days, all the better.

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