MONICA WANTS A PARDON

 

By Risë Birnbaum

There’s obviously not much going on around town these days in order for Monica Lewinski to grab headlines.  Now we have to read about Monica’s new confession now after all these years?  I just went online to CNN to actually catch up on the news and there isn’t much.

Here’s the deal.  Monica has an article coming out in Vanity Fair June and some savvy VF editor (or maybe a book editor) said to Monica, “Monica baby, it’s a slow media time and the Benghazi story isn’t sticking, so let’s stick it to the Clintons again before Hillary’s run becomes official.”

So, Monica decides the time is right to come out and say her affair with Bill Clinton “was consensual.”  Huh?  Call me naïve, but I never thought lusty Bill was raping Monica on the Oval Office rug.

Yes, I get that Bill was handsome and powerful and could have schtupped dozens of beautiful women (and maybe did) but I also think it was all consensual.

So this is the breaking news that CNN needs to finally push the Malaysian 777 off their coveted top spot and back to the shallow end of the press pool?

It seems Hillary once confided in a friend that Monica was a “narcissistic loony toon.”  And Monica resents that (after 15+ years) and admits to being, “courageous or foolish,” but neither narcissistic nor loony.

Think this whole story is loony except for the fact CNN finally got rid of the plane.

Will Fox have a field day with this?  I hope so because it will make them look as smarmy as they really are.  And if I were CNN, I’d call it a day with this breaking news and get back to the hunt for the Nigerian girls.  Because at the moment those girls better be very courageous until some brave group finds them and brings them home.

As for Monica – forget the beret, forget the blue dress and let’s just call it a day.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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