FEE-FI-FO-FUM I SMELL THE STINK OF A FIFA BUM (OR MANY)

THE GIG IS UP FOR THE WORLD CUP

Risë Birnbaum

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Wow!  Hang onto your cleats.  FIFA just became a household word.  But, def not in a good way.  Overnight, the FBI busted a whole bunch of FIFA execs who allegedly took a ton of bribes and kick-back moola to help steer media, marketing and sponsorships in the Americas worth like gatrillions.  Talk about inflated balls.

Why were our G-men able to make the bust?  Because the plans and payments were reportedly made and carried out in the U.S. — that’s why.  After all, the US TV market is like #1 in media money when it comes to the World Cup.  So, when it comes to ad dollars, The Cup runneth over.

What were some of the clues besides the fact US prosecutors smelled something rotten at FIFA for years?  One big one is that Qatar is hosting the World Cup in 2022 and the summer temps can climb to a toasty 105 degrees.  That’s schvitz city for any pro soccer star and definitely NOT a place to start kicking the ball around.  Think about it, a soccer player could play 100 minutes running up and down a 130 yard field for almost 8 miles in just ONE match.  Add 105 degree sun to that formula and I just hope the medics are on call.

As for Russia winning the Games for 2018…I’m sure some rubles changed hands, but at least there’s a much lower chance of a sand storm or heat stroke.

And for FIFA – it’s one big red card.  And a big score for the FBI.

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