FEE-FI-FO-FUM I SMELL THE STINK OF A FIFA BUM (OR MANY)

THE GIG IS UP FOR THE WORLD CUP

Risë Birnbaum

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Wow!  Hang onto your cleats.  FIFA just became a household word.  But, def not in a good way.  Overnight, the FBI busted a whole bunch of FIFA execs who allegedly took a ton of bribes and kick-back moola to help steer media, marketing and sponsorships in the Americas worth like gatrillions.  Talk about inflated balls.

Why were our G-men able to make the bust?  Because the plans and payments were reportedly made and carried out in the U.S. — that’s why.  After all, the US TV market is like #1 in media money when it comes to the World Cup.  So, when it comes to ad dollars, The Cup runneth over.

What were some of the clues besides the fact US prosecutors smelled something rotten at FIFA for years?  One big one is that Qatar is hosting the World Cup in 2022 and the summer temps can climb to a toasty 105 degrees.  That’s schvitz city for any pro soccer star and definitely NOT a place to start kicking the ball around.  Think about it, a soccer player could play 100 minutes running up and down a 130 yard field for almost 8 miles in just ONE match.  Add 105 degree sun to that formula and I just hope the medics are on call.

As for Russia winning the Games for 2018…I’m sure some rubles changed hands, but at least there’s a much lower chance of a sand storm or heat stroke.

And for FIFA – it’s one big red card.  And a big score for the FBI.

Gold Rush

It’s August, half of DC is at the beach and the other half is still reeling from Olympics-withdrawal.  Is there a patch for that?  If so, I could sure use one.  Maybe a 12-step program.  “Hi, I’m Risë, and I’m an Olympics addict.”  If there’s coffee and donuts at those meetings I’m there.

There were literally times when I was so wrapped up in watching swimming or diving or track & field that I didn’t dare run to the kitchen to make a sandwich and then run back to the screen.  I was hungry, but the games were on.   I couldn’t miss one second of Ryan or Aly or Missy.  And Misty, LeBron and Lolo had me glued to my couch.  I was seriously thinking of getting an Olympics tattoo (then thought again).

Was it that the coverage was everywhere?  Was it that online sites and Twitter and Facebook broke the news hours before it hit my TV?  Was it that it took place in London, one of my fave cities?  Not sure if it’s any or all of the above, but boy was I hooked.  And I’m still in recovery.

There’s this 4 hour window every night and I just don’t know what to do with it.  I’ve tried drinks and dinner with friends, a movie, even doing my laundry (special treat) but nothing works yet.

My blood still runs red, white and blue for our primed & pumped athletes and the urge is still there to get home so I can turn on the non-stop coverage of our agile, muscled, fist-pumping and bumping gladiators bringing home the gold. They may have stopped giving out medals, but the rush is still there.

This was kinda like a separation.  Yes, I’ll get to see the summer games again, but not for another four years and next time in Rio where they’ll probably have a samba competition.  Never been to Rio, but I’m definitely thinking about it.  Can you imagine a cooler place to watch beach volleyball?  I can’t.

Ate logo!