BYE BYE BRUCE, HELLO CAITLYN

It’s Trans-Jenner Time

Risë Birnbaum

Caitlyn Looking Coy

Just when you think you’ve heard and seen it all…there’s more.   World — meet Caitlyn.  Caitlyn is gracing the July cover of Vanity Fair and, yes, Caitlyn used to be Bruce.  Annie Leibovitz captured Caitlyn for a cover that will go down in history about a his-to-her story.

No, this is not a still from Ex Machina, it’s formerly Bruce Jenner, the worlds’ greatest Olympian, who is looking pretty hot in some lingerie.  I’m not sure she’ll be the next Victoria’s Secret model, wait — strike that.  I think Victoria’s Secret might jump all over this opp.

Remember, this is the same testosterone-fueled person who jumped higher and ran faster than any other Olympian in the world (though hormone levels have probably changed).  And now this javelin-tossing athlete is striking a pose like a 1950’s  pin-up girl.

Bruce Jenner wins the Decathlon

As the red blooded all American woman that I am, I still drool over pics of Bruce when he won Gold.  That said, I guess Bruce-turned-Caitlyn still looks pretty fetching.

I could crack jokes all day.  It’s too easy.  This is an amazing story that will hopefully liberate men and women who believe they were born the wrong sex and are determined to do something about it.  If Bruce had not become Caitlyn, he might have died.  He and his family admit that.

So, Caitlyn is waaaay out of the closet, way beyond that box of Wheaties and way beyond the limits that we place on ourselves.

Bruce was amazing at the Montreal Olympics in 1976.  But, mon dieux, Caitlyn is even more amazing on the cover of Vanity Fair in 2015.

K ALREADY: Kim Kardashian Kools on Marriage

Why am I not surprised? Seventy two days into the “marriage of the decade” and this Special K dumps her NBA hubby. That’s 72 days after Kim reportedly raked in $18 million after taking her vows. Do the math. That comes out to a quarter of a million bucks a day for each day they were married. Talk about fantasy.

I was already seeing way too much of the Kim, Kourtney and Khloe show before the split. Talk about over exposure in the media. And now the marital meltdown…

But not for long. Here’s my prediction from a PR stance: the American public will begin to see through Kim’s quest for money and fame and start pulling away from the brand. That means fewer viewers and fewer buyers. I mean how long can some curvy con artist get away with pulling the wool over honest consumers’ eyes?

There’s already so much skepticism and cynicism about marriage in this country. Do we really need more? Come on! Seventy two days to decide your best guy friend isn’t going to cut it for the next couple of decades. It usually takes years to figure that stuff out. Or better yet, figure it out BEFORE you get married.

I think this is endemic of an entire generation of overindulged, young adults. Kim’s just a bit more overindulged than most. Give me a break! Seventy two days and $18 million later she says, “sometimes things don’t work out as planned.” My response is Kim’s career shouldn’t work out as planned and we, collectively, have the means to make that happen. De-friend her on Facebook and stop following her on Twitter. Because in my opinion, Kim’s fans should call it KWITS.